I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize