is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize