since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
