I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize