Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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