Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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