She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
