hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
