i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
