if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
