that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
