I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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