Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you will always have a special place in my vag
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
