Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
