I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
