Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My dick has a subreddit
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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