Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.

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(647): View more from Ontario

fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack

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(480): View more from Arizona

I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself

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(908): View more from New Jersey

almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow

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(304): View more from West Virginia

He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying

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(443): View more from Maryland

He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Well he's scoring either way then.

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