remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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