I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The adults are the big ones right?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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