you're like a bully in the Christmas story
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
