For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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