i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
How's work?
Spinning.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
