What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
