I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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