She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Im just a social blackout drinker.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
