doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
