it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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