Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
