And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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