he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
