she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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