I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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