apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
