Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Thank you for not boning my boss.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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