i would punch a child for taco bell
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
