I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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