in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
