there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
