i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
