I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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