Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
