no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize