he shaved USA in his pubs
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
