I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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