I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
