im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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