Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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