i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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