Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
