Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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