all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We have started to decorate penises.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
