he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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