when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
