Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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