Where is the hickey?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
