Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
A+ Viking dick
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
