# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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