I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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